Anyway, Ms. Amirah has requested me to check the English on her latest post, and I don't know what's your motive for asking me to do so; it could be a genuine, sincere request, or it could be some ridiculous, warped behaviour of yours to ask the most inappropriate thing at the most inappropriate time, but you know what? Whatever.
Since I like correcting English, I shall accede to your request, but before that, I'd like to offer a few words of apology.
Reading your latest blog post has allowed me to gain a deeper insight towards your true personality; it could very well be a front, but I am quite certain you've written from your heart. I mean, who am I to say, right? I shall take it at face value. I admit I was rather mean to showcase your and Ms. Elfiana's links so openly right there, and poke fun at your lack of prowess for the English language, and I do very much think I owe you and Ms. Elfiana an apology.
I don't know you people, yet I've mercilessly attacked the both of you with my harsh words, when actually, I think you're really nice people in real life.
Twithunter-no-more, I know what you mean now. Conscience got to you eh? Well, to be honest, my own conscience has been nagging at me too, and I DO constantly think about how horrible I've been to the two girls, when they've done nothing to me.
Normally I'm a nice person, but now you see what bad English does to me. =X
I've discussed this matter with the missus, and from now on, whatever blogs we… urm… source our subject of discussion from, we shall not link it up. And no, there will not be a roll of infamy or anything of that sort, because its so not nice to be nasty. All links will be removed as well.
Nasty is out, nice is in! :D
Because Dr. Marrion says so! XD
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From now on, I have decided that this blog will be one that will actually HELP people, and the first effort I'm making out of it is to help Amirah with pointing out her mistakes; I repeat again that I am not (and never will be) perfect in my English, and there are tons of people out there whose prowess is far better than mine, but, whatever. Lol.
"Thinking for myself, I merely changed for the better and held an intensive desire to work hard this year and prove to everyone that I deserve to achieve my interested course in my dream polytechnic."
- Firstly, the word 'merely' should not be used at all, because it will look like an oxymoron; the subject of this sentence is something positive, and using 'merely' makes it seem as if changing for the better was something unworthy. When one uses "thinking for myself", it means that one wants to say that one is capable of independent thought; usually used in a different context from this. A more appropriate phrase to use would be "thinking back". 'held' should be 'had'. 'Intensive' is in the wrong tense; it should be 'intense'. 'Deserve to achieve' sounds a little off to me- perhaps a better way to phrase it would be: "… to prove to everyone that I do deserve to achieve my goal- which is my course of interest in my dream polytechnic".
"But my changes have grew a small lake full of misconceptions and thus leading to have feelings of insecurities for all my girlfriends. I was force to enter a room full of dilemmas. I am too weak to hold the room key and exit myself from the room. I have created instincts that will stab their hearts that were already filled with love for me... bla bla bla "
A nice attempt on the usage of the metaphor 'a small lake full of misconceptions'. I do get your idea behind implementing it, but to be honest, it sounds a little… 'off'. Ok, actually, to be honest, your whole post is full of mistakes and to correct every single one of it is going to be such a tiresome task to handle, so I think I'll stop here before I go bonkers. Instead, I'm going to offer you some tips:
1) Try to avoid using too many metaphors to describe something; I know in English class your English teacher may have urged you to 'describe' rather than 'explain'; that's a good piece of advice, but you see my dear, not EVERYTHING has to be vividly described in two or more sentences. Writing is an art form. The more books you read, the more you know what to describe and what NOT to describe; I know you are filled with tons of ideas and metaphors for the simplest of things in life, which you so badly want to put out in black and white, but, do remember that during exams, the invigilator WOULD NOT like to read paragraphs after paragraphs full of sentences that describe every single sordid little detail. It makes your piece very draggy and verbose.
2) My advice is: go into detail (i.e. describe- what you want to bring attention to- for e.g. a rose colored tea cup: "I stared forlornly at the intricate gold lines that ran in a curved fashion, from the top to bottom, etched beautifully into the rose-hued background; the ivory smoothness reminded me very much of his hands, which I longed to hold..."- this tool uncovers the more 'emotional' part of your conveyance to the reader, keeping him intrigued and at the same time, allowing him to picture the object in his mind)
3) Your grammar and tense. From what I can gather, your fundamental grasp of basic sentence structure and the usage of the tenses can be very much improved; each time you're unsure of which tense to use, re-read your whole sentence and decide whether you are referring to the present, future or past. I know, I know, its not that simple, there are other types of tense too, but let's not get to that today….
Ok, I think that's about all I'm capable of today, the assignments have been piling up like nobody's business, be glad that I took some time off to post this up, as a gesture of my sincere apology to everyone.
:D
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